Thank you for this, Kaiti. Your stories echo so much of what I was taught as well, and I think I'm still unpacking it all! I love the image you've painted at the end of God, still on the porch, without a shotgun... It's so encouraging to read of someone else deconstructing the toxicity of purity culture teachings without throwing out the idea of purity—from a good place—altogether.
I've been unpacking these teachings for the past decade, so it's a process forsure! I'm so glad that image resonated with you — it didn't come to me until I was literally in the middle of writing it, and I think it's one I'll keep coming back to myself.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for sharing your thoughts <3
Having struggled with pornography and masturbation myself, I used to be terrified of sex and intimacy and loving affection. Thank God, I healed from that and my marriage is sexually healthy. I am glad, glad, to hear from you and how far you’ve gotten in your heart and mind with purity and what it really does mean. I recently wrote about my experiences with being addicted to pornography, if you want to read it.
Thank you so much for sharing so openly with me! I'm so glad to hear you've been through your own healing journey, and I will absolutely check out what you wrote :)
Hi Gregory! I'm not sure if you read the full article, but at no point did I encourage hedonism or discourage waiting for sex until marriage. My personal qualm is NOT with purity itself, which I do believe is important and valuable to God. It's with the extrabiblical "rules" taught during the era of purity culture that ultimately prioritized our performance and behavior over God's love and grace for sinners — and especially the way these teachings damaged an entire generation of women who were made to feel like maintaining purity in a relationship was the sole responsibility of the female.
Perhaps, I’m responding to women who rejected all things with purity and destroyed their lives. Many of the warnings are true. “Purity culture” has a hidden and shifty meaning, but we are called to purity.
I agree with you that rejecting “all things purity” is not a life-giving path. I also have a strong sense of empathy for people who were deeply damaged by this movement, so I do my best to write about this topic with a balance of grace and truth.
So many of us share these memories, and often we don't even realize it until we find ourselves living out the effects of them in our adulthood! Thank you so much for reading <3
Thank you for this, Kaiti. Your stories echo so much of what I was taught as well, and I think I'm still unpacking it all! I love the image you've painted at the end of God, still on the porch, without a shotgun... It's so encouraging to read of someone else deconstructing the toxicity of purity culture teachings without throwing out the idea of purity—from a good place—altogether.
I've been unpacking these teachings for the past decade, so it's a process forsure! I'm so glad that image resonated with you — it didn't come to me until I was literally in the middle of writing it, and I think it's one I'll keep coming back to myself.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for sharing your thoughts <3
Having struggled with pornography and masturbation myself, I used to be terrified of sex and intimacy and loving affection. Thank God, I healed from that and my marriage is sexually healthy. I am glad, glad, to hear from you and how far you’ve gotten in your heart and mind with purity and what it really does mean. I recently wrote about my experiences with being addicted to pornography, if you want to read it.
Thank you so much for sharing so openly with me! I'm so glad to hear you've been through your own healing journey, and I will absolutely check out what you wrote :)
God may not even be waiting on the porch, but running towards you as soon as you turn back to him.
so very true ♥️
I want to send this to 27 girls I know.
please do. ♥
Sex isn’t shameful in marriage, and purity is worth saving.
The pleasure of cultural hedonism won’t bring you what you think it will.
Hi Gregory! I'm not sure if you read the full article, but at no point did I encourage hedonism or discourage waiting for sex until marriage. My personal qualm is NOT with purity itself, which I do believe is important and valuable to God. It's with the extrabiblical "rules" taught during the era of purity culture that ultimately prioritized our performance and behavior over God's love and grace for sinners — and especially the way these teachings damaged an entire generation of women who were made to feel like maintaining purity in a relationship was the sole responsibility of the female.
Perhaps, I’m responding to women who rejected all things with purity and destroyed their lives. Many of the warnings are true. “Purity culture” has a hidden and shifty meaning, but we are called to purity.
I agree with you that rejecting “all things purity” is not a life-giving path. I also have a strong sense of empathy for people who were deeply damaged by this movement, so I do my best to write about this topic with a balance of grace and truth.
hey sister, thanks for sharing <3
hey sister, thanks for reading <3
Your memories are ones I share as well. And your conclusion felt like a breath of fresh air. Thank you for writing!
So many of us share these memories, and often we don't even realize it until we find ourselves living out the effects of them in our adulthood! Thank you so much for reading <3